Confessions of a Traitor
by Inuobsessed004
Summary: I'm going to kill you. I will get my heart back, we'll do it together Lea, right?... But why am I hesitating to slit your throat when you sleep? Happy SaiXem 7/1! Oneshot. Warning: Yaoi.


Summary: I'm going to kill you. I will get my heart back, we'll do it together Lea, right?... But why am I hesitating to slit your throat when you sleep? Happy SaiXem 7/1! Oneshot. Warning: Yaoi.

A/N:

Warnings: Yaoi and spoilers for 358/2 Days.

Disclaimer: I don't own parts of these quotes. Or the series…or really anything….maybe Nympho Xemmy is mine? *begging eyes*

~-Companion to my Xemsai Day fic 'Confessions of a Nymphomaniac'. I really recommend if you have Windows 7 to pull them up in a split-screen and read them side by side like I did while writing them.

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><p>Confessions of a Traitor<p>

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><p>Day 7…..the beginning<p>

_We started out together, you and I. We planned once we were created, knowing that we needed to get out of here, needed to be free. We wanted our hearts back….and we wanted them now. _

Saix approached the desk in his Superior's office, grimacing at the way his amber eyes seemed to draw him in, "I'm turning in these reports Sir." He set them on the desk, eyes looking back into amber pools of lust, "S-sir?"

He felt tanned fingers ran along his own as the Superior grabbed the papers, eyes never leaving Saix's and a smirk dancing in those orbs, "You're acting quite strange." Saix felt his cheeks heat up and he watched his Superior glance at the papers briefly, not in real interest, before wiggling his finger and beckoning Saix over, "Number VII, come over here."

Day 9

_ My goal is to get as close to Xemnas as possible. If I need to be a bed-warmer, than so be it. I will get that heart, I will help Lea. But why is Lea starting to get distant? Is it because Xemnas likes spending time with me?_

Saix approached Xemnas cautiously; he was in a weird mood, reason for him to act like the submissive Second-in-Command. He reacted quickly to his Superior's unspoken question, "Yes Superior?"

He watched his Superior stare at the ceiling for a moment, "How long would you say our…-" he stressed the next word, "relationship has gone on..Saix?"

Saix blushed, knowing what answer his Superior wanted and the fact his rank and title had been left out, "Quite a while Sir."

He watched Xemnas wrap his arms around his waist so that he was straddling the delicious hips of his Superior. Xemnas buried his face in his cerulean hair and murmured in that deep voice of his near his ear, "Don't call me Sir, call me Xemnas."

Saix felt a shudder of pleasured delight pass down his spine as he smiled, nuzzling into Xemnas's silver hair, "I'm sorry S-….Xemnas. I must have forgotten."

Day 51

_Xemnas is becoming extremely dependent on me. Just as planned._

I grab a handful of silver hair, yanking and throwing that sweet tan ass on the bed. Dragging my tongue along his thigh, I work towards that glorious length that I am proud to know belongs to me and me only. He whimpers out my name and a feral grin spreads across my lips, "You like my tongue?" A groaned out reply as I rake my fangs along his stomach, watching him writhe in pleasure as the blood trails towards his silver hairs and my tongue lustfully follows, a hungry purr echoing from my throat…

Day 94

_He is attached to me like a puppy. Ironic due to my nicknames by other Organization members, so sad they don't know how he is truly the bitch and I am Master, Ruler and Superior._

He's on top of me, eyes glinting with his supposed superiority as his large member slams into me. I grab the bed and a low hiss of pleasure escapes my lips, I like feeling something, even if it is pain. He hits my sweet spot and I start letting out weak sounds, unable to control my body as I rip the sheets in ecstasy. I turn my head and expose my neck, shuddering as he bites the skin and leaves his mark. He thinks he has the power, that I allow him to do this because I trust him, he has no idea.

Day 150

_He keeps calling me to his room, making up excuses to set up meetings, it's pathetic….why do I keep showing up?_

Saix stared at Xemnas, trying to get him to understand his reasoning and desire for his heart. Xemnas only looked towards Kingdom Hearts instead.

He hesitated to ask, "Will we ever get our hearts back Xemnas?"

He watched Xemnas pause, thinking the answer over and looking at the ground, "Perhaps….I can only wish my Diviner…and hope, no matter how futile it may seem."

Saix wrapped his arms around his Superior, setting his head on his shoulder to rest, "Nothing you do is futile Sir, I trust you….I love you…as much as I can without a heart, you know that Sir."

He felt the tanned hands grip his own and the Superior stiffened up, "Why do you trust me?"

Saix wanted to ask, "Why do you believe I trust you?"

Day 171

_I'm growing distant from Axel, my Lea. I'm growing distant from Xemnas in response, desiring that will make Lea come back to me, I can only hope…..._

I pull the covers off and try to leave, to go back to my own room, to meet with Lea. He grabs and yanks me back down to snuggle and nuzzle into my hair, a happy sigh escaping him. I stiffen up, wanting him to know I don't need this, I need to leave, and I need to see my Lea. He orders, "Stay Saix-" in my ear and I sigh, smiling back at him, my lips hurting as they turn into that unnatural expression.

Day 174

_I know Xemnas is hiding something from me, I need to find out. It is the key to getting our hearts. He thinks he's so smart._

Saix turned to his Superior while looking over the Mission Reports, "Sir, what is the true goal behind Kingdom Hearts?"

He watched Xemnas pause, his pen stopped and was set down, "What do you mean? Our hearts of course, why do you ask Saix?"

Saix looked frustrated for a moment before he returned to his stoic mask, "Nothing Sir. I was just thinking." He couldn't believe that stupid egomaniac thought he was playing along with his plan.

Day 255

_He doesn't understand, he doesn't know why we want our hearts. He never had a relationship before, he cannot love, he doesn't love now either…._

He gives me a sexy smirk after the meeting and I smile and wink but I'm so tired. My posture gives off the vibes of fatigue, I already spent the night with Lea, I cannot follow it with Xemnas the next day. He thinks that means he'll get a quickie or a blowjob under the desk, he's so overconfident.

He opens a portal and I follow, practically dragging my feet along as I stand against the wall, ready to be jackhammered until my legs give out but he doesn't follow through. He glares at me and orders me to write missions while he goes to dinner, a punishment I've never been given…..I've never been yelled at before.

Day 277

_I have to meet with Lea today, we need to formulate our plan, Xemnas is weak now. But sadly Lea is no better, that blonde…that Roxas. He looks like Ventus, do you remember him Lea? Is he blocking my image out of your memories? Do you even care about Isa anymore? Am I just Saix to you?_

I stiffened up, "Lea, what about our plan to overthrow him? What happened to that? What do you want? A make-believe friendship or a real one?"

I watched Lea turn to me, he had tears brimming his eyes and then the emerald orbs I fell so hard for dropped to the ground, "...You've changed Isa….no, you're Saix now. My Isa is gone." He left me there, leaving through a portal. I tremble and let out a whimper, ears flicking back as I open a portal and flee to my own room, crying for hours.

Day 298

_Xemnas seems to be so distant now, I have no idea why. What has he figured out?_

I tug his pants down, I'm needy and not afraid to admit it. I kiss the exposed flesh and moan as I lick his shaft, purring around the member. I feel him release but it's not the same. The need in his eyes is gone, it's just sex to him….when did it stop being just sex for me? Am I dumping on him in order to forget about Lea?

He seems surprised by his orgasm, and I cup his face, kissing his lips, "Your attention should be on me." He doesn't respond.

Day 322

_His plan is quickly coming together as Roxas gathers more hearts. I wonder if Lea is happy and proud of Roxas. What am I to him? Should I still follow through with the plan?_

He's been avoiding me in the hallways and only responds with a "Hmm" or "That's nice VII" in meals, I 'feel' so lonely now. What have I done wrong?

Day 356

_I was defeated by that pathetic little whore Roxas while he was escaping the Organization. I know Lea will follow, now my wounds seem to spread, maybe to my heart? _

Saix looks up as Xemnas brushes the hair out of his face, sighing and watching Kingdom Hearts while sitting on the edge of the hospital bed, "Everything is falling apart." Saix wonders if he is referring to 'them' or the Organization.

Saix blinks the sleep out of his eyes, looking nervous, "S-superior? Why are you-"

He didn't need to finish his sentence; Xemnas knew what he meant, "-Why wouldn't I be here to watch over my most loyal subordinate?"

Saix's eyes softened as he realized the man he was trying to kill was here, his best friend was not, "Oh."

Day 358

_Roxas is gone, Lea is gone. Castle Oblivion is gone, so are the members within it, true traitors at 'heart', not like me, not two-faced, not dogs. True traitors, I wonder what that is like…tell me Marluxia, did it feel good dying?_

He shoves me on the bed and I bend over submissively, knowing all too well what will happen and the reasons why. Actions speak louder than words as his hits my prostate continuously and without mercy. He yanks my hair and I stroke myself, trying to keep up with the rhythm in order to hit my peak, though I know I don't deserve this pleasure and pain.

He wraps his one arm around my chest and pins my arms so I cannot touch myself, a nice punishment I must say. I grunt and thrust against the sheets, unwillingly to admit defeat and rubbing against the sheets for friction. He bites my neck and tugs my head back as he kisses me brutally, we lock lips and don't stop until we are starving for air. It is the best kiss of both my lives. I hit my peak and he releases inside me and moves away.

I cannot leave for some reason, tears run down my cheeks. I have become desperate, I need him, I need something now. Some reason to cling to, I have nothing else. He rolls over so that his back is facing me. I crawl over weakly and push my face against his back, nuzzling the skin and inhaling his scent one last time. I want him to turn around, I want him to kill me for my actions. I want to be acknowledged, I want to be something. I want to be Isa….I'm so sick of being Saix.

He ignores me and a lone whimper escapes my lips as I move away, shutting the door, never seeing him again.

My Last Day

_Roxas is back to just insult me again. I watch him with narrowed eyes, approaching me as I scribble this down and tuck it inside my coat._

I approach my new leader with apprehension and watch as he turns with a soft smile, "Saix, you'll make a fine addition to our ranks in the Organization."

I bow to him and smile, my lips curling into the unfamiliar gesture and reply, "I hope to exceed your expectations Sir."

He turns his back on me, believing I am not trying to kill him, not trying to regain my heart, not trying to continue a relationship whose flame had dwindled when the pyro's real flames burned.

_Why Kingdom Hearts, why won't you give me my heart?_

I heard the Superior approaching me from behind as I looked out in Addled Impasse, "Saix, why do you always stare at Kingdom Hearts? Is it due to your element?"

I don't need to think and I smirk back at him, a true smile in my eyes, "It reminds me of you."

Did I Change or Was it You?

_ I find it hard to believe the Organization has fallen so quickly. The keyblader has dealt a small blow to the group that was truly crumbling from the inside out. Xemnas held us together with false promises of renewed life and the originals believed him, they were doomed from the start._

_ The true spark that killed us all was Axel, or Lea, Lexaeus was bright enough to notice it in Castle Oblivion and Xemnas ignored it, as he does everything else…but that's not fair. He doesn't ignore everything, just things that don't involve him. It's sort of poetic that it does involve him, that he would die because we wanted hearts. _

_ Not we, not anymore._

::**This reports seems to focus on past relationships and hearts. More emotion than the last report.**

_You are not my Lea anymore, everything you do….you do for that blonde._

_ Nothing is for me._

_ It was never about me was it?_

_ You wanted that heart for your own selfish goals! You were probably going to kill me along with Xemnas!_

::**The treachery is this Organization is astounding. **

_I wanted so badly to become part of your life again. I didn't change…you just held onto your humanity while I gave it up, I was always like that…remember Lea?_

_ I wish….I wish we could be in Radiant Garden again, playing around like old times…before everything._

_ I wish I could have a relationship with you again…but as friends. I truly know now that's all your good for, a nice friend….the only lover I can depend on is Xemnas and that's because he's a nympho._

_ It's kind of sad how I ….have grown attached to him, I am that helpless puppy in the box in the rain, hoping for hands to lift me out and take me home. _

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><p>AN: All the days follow the Secret Reports except the last two obviously, I only chose entries by Xemnas and Saix though, but I followed the mood of the report….somewhat I suppose.

Please R&R! Sorry for angst and hinted or not so hinted AkuSai

As you can tell, I don't like Axel, Xemsai is my fav pairing, Xemnas is my favorite character, and Saix ironically enough, my second favorite.

~Also see my RP site located on my profile.


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